As we age, society often has a prescribed role for us—one that focuses on what we “lose” rather than what we “gain.” In Western culture, this role can feel restrictive, leaving us lost in a maze of external opinions about what it means to be an Elder. As an older adult we navigate these societal pressures but may lose sight of our individual purpose or sense of self-worth. Our identity becomes attached to what others think they should be, rather than embracing the fullness of our life experiences.
This “loss” can be physical, emotional, and mental, as we grapple with what society says about aging versus our own evolving sense of self. Often, Elders are relegated to specific roles—like retirees or grandparents—limiting our potential contributions to society. The assumption that Elders are weak, incapable, or past their prime creates a box that many are forced to fit into. As a result, the complexity and richness of the elder experience—wisdom, emotional maturity, and depth—can get buried under societal expectations of what aging “should” look like. Western culture often glorifies youth and dismisses the wisdom of older generations.
The pressure to remain youthful in appearance, health, and vigour creates a false narrative of aging. As we grow older, we can feel like we are fading into irrelevance, and society reinforces this idea through media, advertising, and even healthcare. Not something I am happy to buy in to.
And anyway what is the age where this starts to feel like its happening?
I know its how you are in yourself. How you present to the world you are moving in. I know that last year before I took steps to achieve better health I was looking and ‘feeling’ my 67 years and so people treated me like I was older. The dreaded ‘Can I help you Love” at the shopping checkout was a depressing experience last November. I took steps to improve my health and at the end of 2024 I feel I am as good as I can be and, by the way, I didn’t join a gym or do hard core Pilates! {I might write about this later.} I now make a conscious decision to walk tall and with purpose where I go.
So the good news here is that we can learn to detach from societal expectations of what aging should look like. Aging can be about rediscovery, self-empowerment, continued learning and giving back in ways that are unique to each individual.
Post retirement is a time to embrace your evolving self and realize that your value is not defined by how others see you, but by how you see yourself. Personal growth does not stop with age; it can deepen as one gets older.
How do you want to define your own path and purpose? How can you avoid the societal opinions that could box you in and embrace your true identity as an Elder?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Regards
Di
Aging as gracefully as I can in as many fun ways as I want.